Day 24 Post Cystectomy

OK - remember that part about me feeling proud of myself and believing I didn't overdo it?  Yeah - I was wrong.  I had blood in my urine for pretty much the whole day today - just the last one I emptied before I went to bed looked clearer.  Plus, I was having more pain in both my abdomen and the incision in my vagina, so much so that it made sitting and walking painful.  Ugh!  My mom used to say you never know if you overdid until you overdo!  So true!  My doctor had said I should do whatever I felt like I could do, so I really thought I could do all those things.  Evidently not!  But today I felt very compelled to go to the funeral of a friend who was diagnosed with breast cancer about the same time I was diagnosed with bladder cancer, and she did really well, did all the treatments and lost her hair but went through her whole journey with such flair and was declared cancer free WAY before me and so she was always kind of my hero.  We would talk on the phone about our journeys and met for lunch a time or two, but I had lost touch with her over the past couple of years.  And then 3 weeks ago she ended up in the emergency room on Thanksgiving Day from some pain and they discovered cancer all throughout her body and she passed last week.  I'm still in shock.  8 kids, ages 8 - 22. t I realized I think I'm having a little survivor's guilt.  But I wanted to go honor her, so Tim took me to the funeral this morning at 10:30 for the greeting time, and then the funeral started at 11am.  I was thinking it would be done around noon, but her husband ended up speaking for over an hour so it didn't end until 1pm!  I'm glad he was able to speak that long because he needed to - I'm sure it was very therapeutic for him.  And I appreciated everything that was said and done for the service.  But now I'm thinking I either shouldn't have gone or shouldn't have stayed as long, because the blood in my urine continued and the pains definitely didn't get any better.  I ended up just watching Hallmark movies all evening and going to bed around 10pm feeling pretty discouraged.  Boo!