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Happy Thanksgiving!!

11/24/2011

Happy Thanksgiving, everyone!!!

I’m so sorry that I haven’t posted! I couldn’t think of anything to say these last couple of days that wouldn’t bore you to death. ;)

Anyways…isn’t it so great to have a holiday centered on thanking God? I’m thankful for just that – that we can freely praise our Lord and thank Him for all He has given us.

By the way – and this is kind of random – I’ve realized that a daily battle for me is to believe the truth that I am loved and forgiven…for everything…and that I don’t have to be perfect – because who’s perfect? If we were perfect, we wouldn’t need God.

So, I just wanted to say that I’m learning how to be thankful even for this struggle, because it means that I have to rely on God for me to get through each day. God has blessed me with trials, even, because these things are what strengthen my faith and root me even deeper and firmer in His love.

So…what else am I thankful for?

Family. Grandparents. Brothers, even. ;) School. T-shirts and jeans with Tweety bird on them. Laughter. Grace. Books. Youth group. Painted toenails and long, comfy jeans that make me want to curl up with a book. Food. Phones. Forgiveness. Sweet, dear friends who have brought me more joy, encouragement, and understanding than they could ever know. God’s Word. Email. Blogs. True, real freedom. Joy FM radio, and Spirit FM. Singing. Smiles. The aroma of food in the kitchen. Church. Ping-pong. Games. This beautiful house. The home I have in my family and in God, no matter where we are. My eyes, to see. My heart, to see. ;) Health. Internet, no matter how slow it may be. Cards. Colorful flowers made out of tissue paper. Words. Friendship. Puzzles. Giving. Receiving. Joy. All the beautiful memories given to me by God. Movies. Wisdom. Pop-out books. Clouds. Hope. Fresh air. Autumn trees. Butterflies. Pet dogs. Stuffed animals. True love. God.

And what about you? I think you should make a list of the things you are thankful for. Seriously – make a list, on paper, on the computer, whatever. You will be surprised at how endless that list will be, and how joyful you will feel afterwards. “Count your blessings”…you will be blessed.

Happy Thanksgiving – have a happy, joyful time giving thanks to God!

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Forgiven

11/18/2011

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You ever feel like you’re dragging around a huge bag of…something? Some kind of thing that you don't want to think about and don't want to mess with?

Sometimes I just try to ignore the load. Other times I let it swallow me and drag me around with it but don’t attempt to even figure it out. I might get mad at it and, in turn, snap at everyone who talks to me and threaten to bite their heads off. And then there are those rare times when I’ll sit down quietly, take a big breath, and sort through it with God. I dig deep and find what’s gnawing at me, what’s weighing me down, whether it be guilt or fear and hopelessness or lack of motivation or distance from God (that I caused – though often subconsciously – by sin, not Him distancing Himself from me) or whatever. His truth shines a light in the blackness of deceit that I blindly walk around in, cutting it away and making room for His love.

I’ve been ignoring the weight of stress over schoolwork and of guilt of imperfection for a while, shoving it away and keeping it at arm’s length for as long as possible, but yesterday, for some reason, it all crashed down on me. I think one huge reason was because I got barely enough sleep the night before last to stay awake the whole day, much less think properly and cohesively. That means I didn’t get much schoolwork done yesterday…which means I was *gasp* imperfect yesterday…which means I felt really guilty…which means, out of that guilt, I tried to do more schoolwork to fix that guilt…which means that I then failed at that, partly because of my extremely tired brain and low motivation and high distractibility…which means I then felt guilty again…you get the picture. This is often the cycle that I’m stuck in, and with things other than schoolwork (like being a “good Christian”, whatever that is).

And I could just continue in it today. Like I said, I didn’t get much schoolwork done yesterday – all the more reason to feel guilty today and feel the pressure to finish it before the birthday party this evening.

But today I’m determined not to do that. However, that’s not good enough. I have to be determined to follow Christ today. I can’t just say, “Hey, I don’t really enjoy being down in the dumps all the time, so today I’m going to be happy!” Ha! Let’s see if that works real well. Sure, I might be able to put on a cheerful face, but that’s even worse than letting people know that I’m really not doing well, even if it’s by acting like Eeyore (y’know, from Winnie the Pooh).

I gotta let God lift this sack of rocks that I’m lugging around with me. I gotta receive His forgiveness - I sure can’t lift it – I’m too weak. But what did we read in our Life Journal reading this morning?

But He said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for My power is made perfect in weakness.” --2 Corinthians 12:9

Yeah, I might get tired of being weak. But Paul said himself in the following verse that ‘when I am weak, then I am strong.” Of course, he didn’t mean that he finds strength in himself. He receives strength from God when he earnestly confesses that he totally needs it, that he can’t do this by himself. I can do that, too. I, a sinful weakling, can receive strength from God Almighty. Pretty cool, huh? ;)

But – enough about me! Sure, I can learn stuff from my experiences, both mistakes and successes. But I can learn a whole lot more from God. And I can learn from others who have learned from God. So, I want to hear how God has lifted a load from you! Or if you need prayer in relation to the load that’s currently threatening to suffocate you. ’Cause I’m praying for you anyway. :) Not that my prayers matter that much, because I’m just another human being like you. But God, amazingly and graciously, listens to and acts upon our earnest prayers.

So, summing up...know God loves You, and learn to know His love. You can’t know anything or anyone else even an ounce more encouraging, or freeing, or joyful, or comforting, or strengthening, or truthful, or faithful, or peace-giving, or grace-giving, or merciful, or loving, or life-giving. He’ll fill your life with, well, life – with laughter and blessings and friends and love. It’s amazing, isn’t?

P.S. I strongly encourage you to go read Emii’s blog – right now! Well, after you listen to that song down there. ;) Even if you already know it, listen to it again. Listen to it while you're reading Emii's post. :D Oh, and here's a link to a little online interview with Matt Hammitt of Sanctus Real about the song : http://www.newreleasetuesday.com/article.php?article_id=327

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worship & love

11/16/2011

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Here's the promised post from Sunday about the other things I wanted to share with y'all! :)

I had another incredible experience this past Saturday at a friend's house a few days ago, the same day I met Miss Angela (by the way, Sunday afternoon we picked up the bed - we hadn't yet, obviously - and set it up and I love it!). After church, Mom and I went to a huge, beautiful home that our friends had invited us to, because a man named Dennis Jernigan was going to be there. I had never heard of Dennis Jernigan, but Mom told me he was a worship leader. I immediately pictured a young, blond-haired guy playing a guitar.

I was wrong.

This amazing guy is in his early fifties and plays the piano...and, oh, it is gorgeous. He said first thing, "I'm not a songwriter...I'm a song receiver." And the lyrics that he writes - they are totally directly received from God (he’s the guy who ‘wrote’ – received – the famous song All in All).

The lyrics of the songs that he sang that night were in two forms, one where we are talking to God, another where God is talking to us. One time, before he sang the latter, he said something like, "This is what I have heard from the Holy Spirit...so, please, completely disregard me and listen to God." He was so humble and gentle yet so fierce in his worship for God - it was incredible.

By the way, we were all sitting in chairs in rows outside on the porch - we didn’t stand because some people wouldn’t be able to see over those in front of them. There was a screen in the front that had the lyrics for each song on it, and next to the screen Mr. Jernigan was playing on his piano and singing. He usually sings with his band (he was actually at Bellshoals on Sunday at the service, though we were busy that morning), but it was incredible just to listen to the lyrics.

And I experienced the Holy Spirit like never before. Seriously…I have never, ever heard any other lyrics so true and pure and powerful. I was amazed. I broke down crying, sobbing, shaking, within the first song. Seriously. That’s never happened to me before…I’ve never heard the Spirit so clearly before. His love was just poured out on me, and I felt so unworthy, but not in a rejecting way – in a grateful way. It was incredible (did I mention it was incredible?).

I talked to some wonderful God-followers after the worship time with my mom – very encouraging people – and the environment was just so Christ-filled. I loved it.

Last thing about that: Dennis Jernigan’s website is www.dennisjernigan.com (surprise!). Here’s an excerpt from his events page:

December 5, 2011
9 PM CST Worship from the Living Room
Listen and watch Dennis Jernigan as he ministers live from his living room.
To join in this intimate time of worship simply click on the following link:
www.livestream.com/dennisjerniga ntv
This ongoing event is on the first Monday of each month.

That’s going to be at 10pm our time – I know, kind of late, especially because it runs for an hour (I’m pretty sure), but I think if you can ‘be there’ you’d really like it. I don’t know exactly what it is, because I’ve never watched one before, but I’m excited about it.

And, everyone, remember….live in love. Really. Don’t live in constant punishment and fear, chained up in sin and guilt and condemnation, a life void of nourishment and joy. Live in Christ…He first loved us. He loves you. So live freely in His grace and mercy and joy and….love.

“And live a life of love, just as Christ loved us and gave Himself up for us as a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God.” --Ephesians 5:2

“This is how God showed His love among us: He sent his one and only Son into the world that we might live through Him.” --1 John 4:9

“And so we know and rely on the love God has for us. God is love. Whoever lives in love lives in God, and God in him.” --1 John 4:16

P.S. It’s my birthday!! :) As of 8:10 this morning, Nathan, Noah, and I are now fourteen years old.

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LIVE

11/14/2011

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Are you loving life? I am. This is life without fear, without bondage. I'm free in Christ. His love, His truth sets me free, and I can live for and in Him. Life freely. Live in truth. Live in love...'cause He wants you, wants you to live in His love. So....live. <3

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i don't know where God is going to take me, but i'm diving in

11/13/2011

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OK, so, first off - before I say anything else - my mom said that she thought that my last post was a little sad, y'know what I mean? And, well, I agreed with her, though I can't exactly apologize - because, I mean, I was sad! ;) I was tired and stuff, and I was also kind of sad about having to let go of some things that, well, I didn't want to let go of. I didn't want to let go of my obsessions over schoolwork, all of my aspirations and stuff that were both overwhelming and exhilarating at the same time - but not in a good way, because it wasn't God's Plan for me. It was my plan for me.

But you know what? I'm so glad I let go of that stuff - and I know, I know - I'll have to do it every day - "Let Go, Let God" - over and over again. But I don't mind. It's so freeing!!! You would not believe it! Unless it's happened to you, of course. ;) But, seriously, the truth sets you free, y'know? It's like a huge breath from living in deceit that we don't even realize is there...and then we step into God's Light, God's Truth, and it's so refreshing and incredible.

So...onto the good stuff! ;) (As if that's not good, but, you know what I mean.)

I had an incredible day yesterday!!! Really, really amazing day. I can't put some of the things that happened to words. And, no, I didn't go to the Novemberfest. : ) I could hear the screams and loud music from Lighthouse, the Christian thrift store that's nearby, though. I went there yesterday afternoon with my dad, and I got a bunch of clothes! I was excited. I love thrift stores; I don't care what anyone else says! They just don't know what they're missing. :D

Soooo...where do I start? OK. You know the passage I shared earlier, in the post before this? About denying ourselves and letting God lead? That's pretty much summed up in 'Let Go, Let God'. I'm sure you've heard that before. One of my good online friends (even if she doesn't know it) has a little picture on the sidebar of her blog, Girlz 4 God, that says 'Let Go, Let God'. BTW, her name is Emii (short for Emily), and she is such an incredible, blessed, wise young lady. I'm hoping to make my blog a little more like hers, especially posting more often.

So. Following God with my whole life, everything that I am, like it says in the verse. I was warming up to the idea a couple of days ago. Actually, I've been warming up to it my whole life, if you know what I mean. Every once in a while I'll dip my toe in that river, but then I'll shiver and pull it right back out. I'm praying for the strength to dive right in, and I'm grateful for God's grace that allows me to even come anywhere near Him. Something I'll mention later.

I woke up the next morning, the night after God had given me that verse, and tobyMac's song was playing on the radio: "I don't want to gain the whole world and lose my soul...don't want to walk away..." God? Ya think?

By the way, sorry if some of this blog post doesn't make sense! ;) This is just what's on my heart....and sometimes my heart doesn't always make sense. :)

Anyway, yesterday, after going to Lighthouse, my dad and I stopped by the house of a lady who had a daybed that was on Craigslist, because I need a bed and all - I've been sleeping on a mattress, by the way, not just on the floor! :) So we got there, it looked great, and I was really excited, and then Dad called Mom to talk about the price and everything, and while he was on the phone, I talked to the lady (whose actual name I'm not going to share, but I'll just call her Miss Angela so I don't have to keep saying 'the lady' all the time). I was thinking about going out to the car to finish my book, but I decided to stay inside and talk to Miss Angela, and I'm really glad I did!

It turns out she's a strong Christian and a counselor like my dad, but also a prophet! She just mentioned it briefly while we were talking, and then (after asking permission from my dad and I) she actually prophesied a little about my life! It not only greatly encouraged me, it amazed me even more at God's power and His love for me, and it changed my perspective on prophets and prophetesses. I mean, I guess I always kind of saw them as great men and women of God in 'Bible times', but kind of, well, weirdos in this modern time - I know, I'm kind of ashamed to admit that. I know now - really know, not just in my head - that they are just people that God is speaking through, and they're just being obedient.

Also, I know to be very attentive yet cautious when someone asks if they could share a word with me, of course, because you don't know if they're actually listening and obeying the Holy Spirit or just doing it for their own pleasure and fame (not that I'm, like, an expert on this stuff or anything, 'cause I'm totally not and this has never happened to me before, but our pastor has talked about it and I've talked about it with my family before and everything).

But it was so evident that it was the Holy Spirit talking to me through Miss Angela. It was amazing!! She had known me for about ten, maybe fifteen minutes, and she described me perfectly (especially my more spiritual feelings and stuff, which even my closest friends don't know about me), and everything she said lined up with what God has been telling me recently, and even some things I wasn't fully aware of yet. She said that, too, kind of - that God has placed these things in me that I'm not aware of yet ('nuggets', she called them), all fruits of His Spirit that is in me, and they will come out and I'll be like, "Woah! Where did that come from?!", but that I should know that this is His Spirit being poured out as a result of His love and grace for me.

She also shared that the hearts of teen girls will be drawn to me, and me to them, because they feel safe with me. Younger girls and boys also, but especially teenage girls. And I just revel in God's glory, and His amazing Plan for me that I don't know and don't deserve, but I will trust Him.

There's more I wanted to share, but that'll be for another post. This one was long enough!!

God bless you, everyone. May your week be filled with God's grace and love and power, and may you give to others what you've been given.

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this post is based on a comment I posted on Mrs. Nancy Rue's blog for teen girls....and it's based upon God ;)

11/11/2011

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Just to let you know, I had about 7 hours of sleep last night, so I'm a tad bit wiped right now. And that's not helping that fact that I'm under a lot of stress from school and family and friends and NaNoWriMo and youth group and...uh...everything. (Including the fact that I have yet to do my math lesson for today. Yes, it is just about 8:00pm. Uuuuuggggghhhh.) I mean, it's not like family or friends are trying to put stress on me, of course. It's the expectations that I either subconsciously or quite consciously make of myself. The performance that I'm focused on. The belief that I can change myself, change my pride or fear or whatever, without God.

So...here are two questions Mrs. Rue asked us teen girls on her blog, In Real Life, that I'd like to share with - you can answer them, too, if you want. :)

1) What has me running right now? School. Totally. Each and every part of it (except History and a little of Bible, sort of - I'm behind in those and don't have any motivation to catch back up excepting my draw towards wanting to be perfect lest anyone love me less - what a sad, fearful lie I often believe). Also, friends, though for some reason my mind is constantly plagued by thoughts of friends that I hardly know and the want of their approval and acceptance instead of thoughts about some of my closest friends that I actually, really care about and love.

2) What am I only crawling toward that I'd really like to get up and leap to and embrace? Oh, just the thought of it makes me hopeful and hopeless at the same time - hopeful that I could embrace God's Presence in every moment of my life, hopeful that I could get my schoolwork completed with perfection (although that's not really important), hopeful that I could spend hours with each of my friends every single day (OK, totally not realistic and not extremely important either, in the way that I'm thinking of it), hopeful that I could spend more quality time with my parents and brothers, loving them and laughing with them, hopeful that I could somehow start, with a group of friends, reaching out to the community with God's love like I've never before, hopeful that I could be a better person...hopeless that I don't have the time, the energy, the drive, the strength, the intelligence, the talent, the ability, the perfection, everything required to 'be a better person'.

When I want to be a better me, I lose sight of God.

So right now...I'm lost. That's what God told me I need to be last night when I couldn't fall asleep until past midnight even though I got in bed at about 10. Lost. I didn't completely realize that until now. I was so mad at God for keeping me up that late and not letting me go to sleep when He knew very well that I needed the energy to be able to do my schoolwork. He whispered a word to me in the middle of my ranting: Lost.

God had and has another plan, one much more greater and wiser and more loving than I could ever imagine.

Good night, everyone. Oh, wait, are you a bit confused as to what 'lost' means? Well, I don't know. So since I can't tell you...I leave you with these words (and paraphrases) of One far wiser than I could ever be.

"Then Jesus said to his disciples, “If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross and follow me. For whoever wants to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for me will find it. What good will it be for a man if he gains the whole world, yet forfeits his soul?" Matthew 16:24-26 NIV

"Then Jesus went to work on his disciples. "Anyone who intends to come with me has to let me lead. You're not in the driver's seat; I am. Don't run from suffering; embrace it. Follow me and I'll show you how. Self-help is no help at all. Self-sacrifice is the way, my way, to finding yourself, your true self. What kind of deal is it to get everything you want but lose yourself?What could you ever trade your soul for?" Matthew 16:24-26 MSG

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Hey, peoples! :) I'm glad you found my blog - now I'm going to tell you to go to another blog! ;) This is my old blog (hence the post to the left over there), so you can go to my new blog (with Blogger) with this link: *Forgiven Mess*

A Lot about Me,
Nicole Gregory:

I am your untypical 13-year-old girl (well, I like to think of myself that way). :) I love my Savior, Jesus Christ, and I try my best to obey my awesome God. I like writing and enjoy reading even more. My favorite Christian author is Nancy Rue. My two favorite colors are teal and fuchsia. I love animals, especially dolphins, dogs, cats, and horses. My favorite Christian radio stations are JoyFM and K-Love, and some of my favorite Christian singers and bands are Francesca Battistelli, Britt Nicole, Chris Tomlin, Matthew West, J.J.Heller, Mandisa, MercyMe, Casting Crowns, Sidewalk Prophets...the list goes on and on and on. I am home-schooled and I love it! I lovespending time with the wonderful friends God has blessed me with! I love my family who I always thank God for. :) By the way, I am a TRIPLET, with three brothers, Nathan, Noah, and the youngest by a year and a half, Nicholas. God has blessed me abundantly, and I can't wait to see what He has in store! God bless!!

Awesome pic I took of Nicholas at the beach!

Here are some places that I posted from while we were on our road trip

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Happy Thanksgiving!!

Forgiven

worship & love

LIVE

i don't know where God is going to take me, but i'm diving in

this post is based on a comment I posted on Mrs. Nancy Rue's blog for teen girls....and it's based upon God ;)

A Lot about Me,Nicole Gregory:

Awesome pic I took of Nicholas at the beach!

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Here are some places that I posted from while we were on our road trip

A Lot about Me,
Nicole Gregory: