Freedom

The past 2 weeks the Lord has been speaking very clearly to my heart about something.  He labeled it 'a spirit of poverty' which I understand can mean different things for different people.  For me, it has been this mentality:  "It's never enough", and I've had it pretty much my whole life.  I remember when I was in college I had it.  When Tim and I were dinks (Double Income, No Kids) I had it, and now that we have a lot less coming in, I have it.  I've always had it....this mentality (let's face it - this fear) that I didn't have enough and I would never have enough.  Even though I've largely had this amazing peace about where we're at right now, it doesn't mean I don't ever talk to God about it, or even complain about it to Him.  And one day a couple weeks ago I was complaining to God that we didn't have 'enough', and I felt Him strike me with the thought, "You know, even if you had $100,000 in your checking account right now, it woudn't be 'enough' in your mind".  That was SO true!  Paul says in Philippians that he had learned the secret of being content in plenty or in want.  Wow.  I want that!  So I started replacing the lie that I have believed my whole life, that I didn't have enough and I would never have enough, with the truth - Phil 4:19 And my God will supply all your needs according to His riches in Christ Jesus.  Everytime I've caught myself with some version of the lie, I've combat it with the Word, and it has been really making a difference!  You know, I go back in a week to get a cast of my tooth for my crown (I think that's what they called the procedure) and initially I didn't even want to ask them how much it was going to be because I just knew 'we didn't have enough'.  But over the past week I have claimed that Phil 4:19 verse - that God would supply.  So Tim had a couple come to him in crisis this past Thursday wanting to do a marriage intensive asap, so he went ahead and did that with them this weekend.  He told me how much he was going to make so I called the dentist on Friday to see how much I would owe them when all was said and done.  Guess how much?  Pretty much the same amount of what Tim unexpectedly made this weekend.  Pretty cool, huh? I think another reason we are where we are right now is this lesson I have needed to learn my whole life, but really wasn't interested in learning.  As I look back over my life, I feel pretty foolish of all the time I have wasted on that mentality that I didn't have enough and would never have enough.  I've ALWAYS had enough.  My needs have ALWAYS been met, and probably most of my wants have, too.  Why could I never see that?  Paul said in Gal 5:1, "It is for freedom that Christ has set us free".  Freedom.  Yeah, that's way better than $100,000 in the bank.  :-)